Meet The Feralkats

Here's the story of a feral kitty

Who got busy with a tom cat, still unknown

Now her three kids live in my bushes

The backyard is their home.

Starring: 

Bootsie 

(previously declared male, but is actually female)

Brother 

(the wrestler)

and

BraveGirl 

(the brave girl)

Family Portrait

Laundry Monster Sighting

 A local amateur scientist has captured an image of what appears to be a full grown laundry-monster (aka "Lord Of The Stink") in its natural habitat.  Local launderers are saying that it is one of the finest photographs ever taken of the elusive mythical creature, reputed to "stink up" unattended clean piles of laundry.

Skeptics who have seen the picture say that it could simply be a lint cluster combined with a giant hair ball.  Others attribute the sighting to "a little too much drinking on laundry day."  

Whether you believe the picture is real or fake, it is certainly causing a stir in the media.  Reports have surfaced that FOX network is already in negotiation with Chris Carter to bring back the X-Files for one more episode which will investigate the origins of this bizarre creature.  Both X-Files fans and L.o.T.S. followers eagerly await the final word.

Ki-Ki-Ki-Kitty! Just Add Water & Watch It Grow.

See the kitty grow before your very eyes!

Now available in a three-pack!

Song Lyrics That Best Describe My Day

The vultures, the vultures,

the vultures, the vultures,

the vultures ate my dead ass up.

The Renaissance [blog] Man

Blogman of Alcatraz, reporting yesterday's news tomorrow, is now offering screen printing services.  

Choose from a wide variety of images:

Keyboard

or

Bearded Man

"You're in good hands with Blogman"

Shake Your Booties, Yeah!

Here's Boots at two and a half weeks old.  

His new nickname is "blue eyes" because he's a functioning alcoholic, just like the original Blue Eyes, Frank Sinatra.

Who likes to rock the party?

Boots likes to rock the party.

The Blogman Proof

Warcraft requires money and time: 

• warcraft =  money x  time 

Time is money:  

• time = money
• warcraft = money x money
• warcraft = (money)2
  

Money is the root of evil: 

• money = √(evil)
• warcraft = [ √(evil)]2

Therefore:

• warcraft = evil

Blogman's Most Wanted

Wanted!

Waldo is an elusive creep who walks with a cane and only one shoe.  Since the 1980's he has evaded capture and is now posing as a baby that lives in a cardboard box.  Waldo is wanted for vagrancy and owes $22,000.00 in library overdue fees for the books he dropped at various locations around the world.  If you have any information concerning this person, please contact your local authorities.  

Advertising With Homophones Proves Sex Cells

AcipHex.  Ass effects.  Same thing.   

I'm not sure if pharmaceutical executives are becoming increasingly mindless or amazingly witty.

***ADULT CONTENT BELOW***

This post reminds me of some good porn movie titles that I've come across (not from watching porn, but from hanging out with overly sexual, sharp-minded people).

Bitches of Breastwick

Weapons of Ass Destruction

Shaving Ryan's Privates

Star Trek: The Next Penetration

Trauma For Your Mama

D-day finally came for Peanut Feralkat.  She was forced to spend the night in captivity, waiting for her spay/abortion appointment, and the following morning she was in a baaad mood.  Consequently, the veterinary office labeled her box "Formerly Feral:  Open With Caution".  Later that evening she returned home safely, but continued to be pissed off at everyone.  Peanut's landlord, S. Demetreos was quoted as saying, "Those cats had fun, but the party is over now."

Boots Is A Cry Baby

This is a picture of baby Boots crying.  It was taken after my family went Michael Jacko on the poor kitten by repeatedly looking at its privates (to determine its gender).  The study was inconclusive, so Boots remains an "it" for now.  Being the most vocal of the three kittens, and the only one to have a pink nose with white paws, Boots is the spitting image of its Auntie Peanut.